Got Some Not So Good News This Morning

[Bob_Roller]

I our work crew here today just got called together by the supervisor, to lets know about a co-worker .

He got off of work at 23:00 last night, got home, and found his wife and both of his sons shot to death .

Law enforcement is calling it a murder-suicide .

Apparently there were marital issues, that have been ongoing for the last 10 years or so .

My co-worker told his wife this past week that he couldn't live in the same house anymore, and was going to move out, and start divorce proceedings .

What do you say to a person, after something like this happens ?

I've known him since December,'93 .

[Bengt_Phorqs]

Not much you can say to them.  I've had two co-workers that experienced suicides in the family and one close friend whose daughter died of a drug OD.  About all you can do is listen and let them talk it out.  The guilt they feel, real or imagined, is often overwhelming.  Sorry to hear about that Bob.

[Bob_Roller]

It hasn't been a good 4 years here, in January,2005, two upper level managers were killed in a light aircraft crash, my immediate supervisor was killed by a drunk driver while coming to work on his Harley, Memorial Day weekend 2007, another employee in the aircraft cleaning department died at work from a drug overdose in June of this year, now this .

All of those news reports, and newspaper articles you see these days about incidents like this, just don't seem really important, until it hits close to you .


http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/story/144672

[Rob Valdez 79 R65]

I'm really sorry to hear about your co-worker, and obviously a close acquaintance.

I've not been left behind by someone by their own hand,
but there was once when a doctor had go explain to me that it is not a good thing to do.

I haven't considered it since.


Good luck with your role as an empathic and sympathetic supporter.

[nhmaf]

Like Mike said - there is nothing that you can say to them - all one can do is to be ready to listen to whatever they are willing to say, when they are ready to talk.   AFter such a horrible experience,  he is going to need to see a therapist - I know that I would need to, anyhow.

[DeeG]

wow.  I am so sorry.  How flippen tragic. I can understand the suicide, but to take the kids?   (I am going bite my tongue and refrain from making any comments about 'mom')      

I really wouldn't know what to say. Just be there for your friend.  He's going to need all the help and support and friendship available right now.  damn. I'm so sorry.   If it were appropriate, I'd tell you to give him a big hug for me.    

[Nice_One_Son]

Bob,

I work in health care here in the UK and see a lot of tragedy, just as you have.

The best thing to do is "be a friend" in what ever way the family and those concerned need.

The grief will come in what seems to be overwhelming waves, this is when help will be needed.

After a time, those left behind (yourself included) will learn to adjust to the pressure of losing loved ones in such a way and accept what has happened, nobody will ever get over it, they just learn to live with it.

My very best wishes to all concerned, I wish there was more any of us could do to help the family and you

NOS

[Dave 2]

When I hear about untimely and tragic deaths it reminds me of how helpless I can feel. However from my own experience with my wife's brain cancer I know that we gained strength and comfort from all the individuals who expressed their care and offered prayers.  I agree that counseling is necessary. Little things can help, maybe offer to take care of his lawn, or get the oil changed in his car, etc. My thoughts are with you, Dave 2

[alexznam357]

Bob:
Really sorry to hear about this string of tragedies. Therapy is truly the only way your friend will be able to cope with the loss of his sons...his whole life. I can't imagine the pain he must endure. My thoughts and prayers are with him.

[Melena]

OMG!  That is so sad.       I can't say anything more than anyone else has already said.  Just be there for him.  What a tragedy.  My heart goes out to everyone who has been touched by this.