Sue,
Do you love this forum or what? Amazing opinions and direction I think. I can relate Sue, I do a ±7k journey every year, much of that solo in the remote SW desert and heart land. I still, to this day find the closing days towards departure filled with stress and anxiety. Interesting thing is...after the first hundred miles it falls away in my rear view mirrors. Getting over that hump is both fulfilling and self satisfying. It's a comfort level thing, even though you're going to have to push yourself - it needs to come with some sort of confidence and adventurous desire. It will come, you'll know the right time. I would suggest shorter rides, and exploring those areas that bother you the most in search of your personal victories. The time will come when you're out there and ask yourself why I didn't do it sooner. Human nature. The ride is personal, surround yourself with positive but persuasive experienced riders and people. Make it your decision.
John's accident is unfortunate and is a very real reminder of how dangerous and tenuous our future can be on the road. Let it act more as a tool in your conditioning and developing skills rather than a deterrent. Some things in this life, we have no control over. Master those that you can control with conviction...and never look back.
I deeply respect your openness and honesty, at your own pace baby, ride your own ride.