BMW specified an obscure and no longer available Milspec aviation hydraulic fluid, I once spent an interesting hour with some engineers to discover that Dexron II is a direct allowable replacement for the no longer available fluid.
Sadly ATF of any variety is too light (IMHO) for use in R65 forks, but then I weigh a bit more than I should and live in a country not noted for the smoothness of its roads.
The next problem is that motorcycle shops want to sell you fork fluid by weight - there is no more meaningless measure of a fluid's suitability for use as fork fluid than its "weight". The only real way of comparing fluids is their Centistoke number, but a lot of manufacturers don't bother to quote one.
To give you an idea of the scope of the problem, Castrol fork 5 has a higher viscosity than Motul 15w fluid.
Now I happen to like Castrol fork fluid and it also happens to be available just about everywhere. Most people are very happy with Castrol Fork 5, but some (like me) who are fat like a varying blend between Fork 5 and fork 10 (in my case 50/50).
Next, fork dive is more a function of inadequate spring rates than damping, how old are your springs and what do you weigh?
I have heavy duty "progressive" springs meant for an R80ST in my forks and they each have a 1.5" hollow slug on top of the spring to preload them.
My advice is to set your "static drop" of your forks to around 1" by varying the preload on your springs (if they are in good condition) or using new springs if your old ones are sacked out. A good question to answer at this point is "how do I tell if my springs are sacked out?" - simple, if when you drop them down the fork tube they do not stick out over the top of the fork tubes, they are sacked.
You can 'reset" springs and if you have a local spring works it is an easy and relatively inexpensive job - give the springs and tell them how long you want the free length to be, they will heat the entire spring to red heat and then stretch it until it reaches the desired free length, then re-heat and quench in water.
A friend of mine has been resetting his own springs for years by doing them in sections of about 5" at a time using a little propane torch. I have always been skeptical, but nothing bad has happened to him in the 40 odd years I've known him.
Get your spring rate correct and then worry about fork fluid.