The New And Improved Unofficial R65 Forum V2

General Category => Totally Off-Topic Discussions, Rants, Tire & Oil Threads, Etc. => Topic started by: Justin B. on October 01, 2013, 09:04:56 PM

Title: How God Created Texans
Post by: Justin B. on October 01, 2013, 09:04:56 PM
*How God created Texans*

This explains it!!

When God created the world for humankind to prosper & multiply, He decided to give each group two (2) virtues.

As an example, He made the Japanese patient & hardworking,

He made the Germans tenacious & studious,

He made the Americans organized & pragmatic,

And so on.

When GOD considered Texans, He told the record-keeping angel, "Texans are going to be intelligent, honest & liberals."

When GOD finished creating the world, the angel noticed that GOD had given every group two (2) virtues except the Texans, who had received three.

The angel thought that this would give the Texans an unfair advantage over the other groups of human beings.  He pointed this out to GOD.

GOD said, "Oh, my goodness, you are certainly right, but since virtues given by GOD cannot be changed, We shall do the following:

From now on Texans will keep three (3) virtues, however, they can only use two (2) at a time."

This dictum explains why:

A Texan, who is a liberal & honest, cannot be intelligent.

One, who is intelligent & a liberal, cannot be honest.

AND ONE, WHO IS INTELLIGENT & HONEST, CAN NEVER BE A LIBERAL!!!

This explains clearly why most Texans are CONSERVATIVES!!!
Title: Re: How God Created Texans
Post by: montmil on October 02, 2013, 10:15:09 AM
Ya nailed it. ;)
Title: Re: How God Created Texans
Post by: steve hawkins on October 03, 2013, 07:36:00 AM
When did he fill 'em full of sh*t ?

 ;)

Rev. Light
Title: Re: How God Created Texans
Post by: Luca on October 03, 2013, 08:39:43 AM
Quote
When did he fill 'em full of sh*t ?

Much like BMW or Henry Ford, god practiced an empty-bin policy.  It wasn't intentional, it's just that god made Texans immediately after he made congress.

 [smiley=ROTFLMAO.gif]
Title: Re: How God Created Texans
Post by: Luca on October 03, 2013, 02:26:19 PM
But on a serious note...

does anybody find it concerning that a Texan of any flavor does not exhibit any American virtues?  [smiley=shocked.gif]



 [smiley=Kick.gif]
Title: Re: How God Created Texans
Post by: Justin B. on October 06, 2013, 06:19:07 PM
The current set of "American virtues" probably have the founding fathers rotating quite furiously in their graves!  I think being somewhat contrary and independent minded is part of what moulds the Texas mind-set.
Title: Re: How God Created Texans
Post by: Luca on October 07, 2013, 07:49:16 AM
Quote
a Texan of any flavor does not exhibit any American virtues?


Quote
He made the Americans organized & pragmatic

just having a laugh
Title: Re: How God Created Texans
Post by: Justin B. on October 07, 2013, 05:32:38 PM
I know.  I'd be laughin' along with ya if it wasn't so depressing...