The New And Improved Unofficial R65 Forum V2
General Category => Totally Off-Topic Discussions, Rants, Tire & Oil Threads, Etc. => Topic started by: Justin B. on September 03, 2008, 10:04:46 AM
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Things I learned living in Texas
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas .
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. 'fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'.
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any beer?'.
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco, Ketchup, and Hot Sauce
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
27... Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin' 'off to Wally World'
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive then we can...besides that, we've been driving since we was 8.
31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Texas friends and those who just wish they were from Texas.
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Haha ! ;D
Very good, Justin !
I have several old friends from your state, and these are completely accurate from what they've told me !
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Yeah, most of it is pretty close to the mark... ::)
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Some of those sound like "southern" sayins, I use "jeetjet" (Did you eat, yet?) when I'm a fixinto make supper with a big ol' picher of Sweet tea. ;)
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I was taught by a Texan that "Ya all" is singular. The plural is "All Ya All"
rich
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Love it
And even though I'm on a different continent I can relate.
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Things I learned living in Texas
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas .
But do your snakes live in the toilets ???
check this newspaper article from a Darwin newspaper
http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2008/06/20/4434_ntnews.html
John
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We get Geckos in the house but I have yet to find a snake in the crapper! You got me on that one... ;D
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My sister and her family used to live in Big Bend National Park in Texas; my brother-in-law ran the lodge/restaurant and they provided housing there in the park. They had to get accustomed to scorpions in the shower... :o And it being a National Park, were not allowed to kill them, only relocate them. ::)
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Well, they'd have to put me in jail cause if one of them critters got in my house it would assume room temperature real fast! We've never had any scorpion or tarantula problems up here, there were quite a few of 'em around when we were down south at Ft. Hood, though...
I'm fixin' to throw some taters into the oven for supper! I like them "real baked" with butter and garlic inside the foil with 'em. No way to do that in a microwave...
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Have you managed to avoid the attack of the "crazy ants" still ?
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Snakes!, Spiders!, Rice Rats! 8" Geckos - we have them all here on the island. fortunately we also have 3 dobermans (Dobermen?) who take care of all that stuff.
I must say tho', Texas was the first state in the US I visited and I loved it. Open spaces and friendly people - Unfortunately I had to transfer to Pittsburgh after spending 3 months in San Antonio.
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During summer our house alarm gets activated every now and then by geckos - when it gets detected by movement censors. So indirectly the geckos serves another good purpose - it might scare off any potential burglar in the area !
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No "crazy raspberry ants" up this way, yet... :P
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I like it Justin ;D
And for those of you wishing to live in Australia here are some thing you should know......
1 The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.
2 The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.
3 Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery there is no Australian event
that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.
4 If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a media billionaire. Or on the other
hand, he may be a wharfie.
5 There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.
6 On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No
thief has ever worked this out.
7 Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate.
8 All our best heroes are losers. (Shane Warne might just be a case in point. Australian cricketer who
was in a fair amount of trouble texting women in Australia and England asking them for sex)
9 The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and
blithely begins turning the snags.
10 It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.
11 A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear.
12 A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.
13 It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of
a bastard".
14 Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be traced to the harsh conditions on
the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or mateship".
Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.
15 The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to himself, but to the mosquitoes.
16 If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not worth fixing.
17 The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool.
18 It's considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.
19 The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the family drinks too much.
20 If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host's
beer. (Don't worry, he'll have catered for it).
21 If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.
22 The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take everything you own. If you don't need to
make three trips back to the car, you're not trying.
23 On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be
solved by leaving the food behind.
24 If your nick name is 'Blue' - you have red hair.
aussie